Updated: Feb 25
And the haters will all say “Must be nice”.
Everyone deserves to feel good on their journey, even ME!
When I first started my yoga journey, I built a strong home practice but didn’t feel like a real yogi because I hadn’t really spent too much time in the class setting. I felt like once I went to the classes I could be considered a yogi, and I really wanted that title. I put up the money to take a class. To my disenchantment, I felt really disconnected and like I didn’t belong there which made me feel even less like a yogi. I felt that I didn’t connect with my classmates and the teachers never really fucked with me so, they must be just taking my money and counting the seconds until my disgraceful ass got up out their classroom. After my sessions, I would feel like I was even further away from being a yogi despite how much my personal practice had grown and how much peace and lightness I felt since I had started my practice.
My response? Do the extreme.
I applied to some yoga programs in India, booked a flight and made plans to spend some long hard time learning how to be a yogi so I would feel comfortable in my practice. I went, I stayed in an ashram, I spent my days learning the fundamentals, the history, the lifestyle, the purpose, the postures ( asanas) etc. When I was done, I had grown in my practice, my mind was different. I realized that I didn’t need to get back to that studio that made me feel so fucking inadequate so that I could once and for all prove to myself and those bland bitches that I was a yogi.
Well, I got back, went to a studio and had the same fucking experience as I had every other time I was in that place. #Disappointed
What I had to realize was, there was going to be no one to validate that I had crossed over to being a yogi, there wasn’t going to be anyone telling me how proud I should be of myself and my practice. There was no graduation ceremony that validated my rise into becoming a better woman. What did happen is I am on this journey, never-ending journey to being the best version of myself as possible. But in the beginning, I fucked up by being so thirsty to have the title, that I didn’t really give myself a chance to enjoy the journey and all its splendor on the way. I now choose to be happy for every milestone and know that I can be happy during this journey of self-actualization instead of waiting for some confirming moment, person or title. To get to the goal is an accomplishment but to enjoy the journey is the blessing and where happiness can live. If you let it.
Having plans, goals and desires for our future can be the very thing that gets you out of bed every morning. But more often than not, it delays our happiness because we get so focused on waiting for tomorrow and forget that today is a good day for a good day.
Don’t front like you have never thought shit like---
I’ll be cute when I lose x number of pounds. I’ll be a boss when they see me pull up in that whip I’ll be so happy when so and so stop calling my line I’ll know I’m worthy of love when I find my soulmate And if you fuckin’ with the Bussit open challenge maybe you said, I’ll feel confident once I learn to do these splits.
But did you realize that you can start feeling the way you are waiting to feel by choosing that positive emotion right now? Maybe I’m doin’ too much and going too far when I say when you genuinely have that feeling, it can even get you to that goal faster?
Okay, Intro a fucking mind bomb called The Law of Paradoxical Intent. Don’t you dare roll your eyes until you’ve at least heard me out. It’s the idea that when you are so thirsty to have something that not having it makes you unhappy you fuck up your peace with desperate energy that actually repels the very thing you’re hoping for. It also creates energy that says you are willing to wait to be happy. Fuck that! You need patience for a ton of shit in life but not happiness. So, let’s detach your happiness from the goal, which you will continue to pursue and damn may well take time but you can start being happy about it right now. Any goal you achieve doesn’t make you happy, it only adds to the joy you already have inside.
What goals are you attaching to your happiness? How can you still pursue your goals while maintaining your happiness while you make that shit happen for yaself?