You hear, see, notice, and experience what you are looking for. If you do not look for or expect it, it will not be there.
Say, you find yourself constantly complaining that people are offensive to you.
“This heaux insulted me; that muthafucka ignored me, and that third person fucked me over.”
Did it happen? Probably! Because that's what muthafuckas do...if.... given the opportunity. But another person would not notice it. Check this, we sometimes are so scared that people do not respect us yet, we test them to see whether or not it is true. We might even cause situations where we will be disrespected, to validate our belief system. Additionally, we may interpret an social interaction differently based solely on our current mood state, not the situation ( that’s enough excuse to cancel some shit you are not in the mood for. Ya know, for their sake.)
What I’m tryna say is
we create the reality we live in. Let's take a moment to reflect on this truth.
Story Time From Our Ancestors...
There is a West African folktale that so keenly reminds us that not only what we look for is what we see but also acknowledging that all these things exist.
“There was once an elderly and wise gentleman who lived in a village. He would often spend his days sitting in the shade of a big tree in the center of the village, reading books and talking to passersby.
One day, a traveler came upon his village and stopped and said, ‘Old man, I have been traveling across the countryside, and I have seen many things and met many people. Can you tell me what kind of people I will find in your village?’
The elderly gentleman looked up at him and replied, ‘Certainly I can, but first tell me what kind of people you have found on your travels.
The traveler scowled and said, ‘Old man, I have met people who cheat, steal, and aren’t kind to strangers, and people who don’t look out for one another.’
The elderly gentleman looked up and, with a faint look of sadness in his eyes, said, ‘Oh my friend, those are the people you will find in my village.’ The traveler kicked the dirt under his feet, scoffed, and marched off towards the village
By and by, as the elderly gentleman continued to enjoy his day, another traveler came walking through the village. Once again, the traveler stopped and asked, ‘Please kind sir, I have been traveling across the countryside, and I have seen many things and met many people. Can you tell me what kind of people I will find in your village?’
The elderly gentleman said, ‘Certainly I can, but first tell me what kind of people you have found in your travels.’
The traveler replied, ‘I have found people who are kind and welcoming of strangers, people who care for one another, and people who love. These are the people I have met in my travels.’
The elderly gentleman looked up and, with the faintest smile in his eyes, said, ‘My friend, those are the people you will find in my village.’
Part of living your best life means having a vision of that world — not going through this life shit with rose-colored glasses, but rather maintaining a dual vision: one that sees what is, while simultaneously seeing what’s possible; be aware of what’s good and of what can be better; also recognize the role your own biases and experiences play in your own vision of how the world (and others) truly are.